Scared and Brave for Halloween Week

6-C on their way to the Parade!

Halloween week seemed like a good one to address the topic of being scared and worried.  Children of all ages get scared to some degree; what is important is that they know how to express and talk about the feelings that result.  With 6-C,  I read the book, Sometimes I'm Scared, and used "Onionhead" feeling cards to talk about such feelings as sad, lonely, and nervous and then their opposites: happy, outgoing, and safe.  The book addresses common childhood fears such as being scared of the dark, a thunderstorm, or a spider.  Kids hear that they are not alone in their fears and that there are concrete ways to feel better.  It also addresses one's imagination and how that can "take over" and cause stress by imagining things are worse than they really are.  We went through seven steps to take to feel better:

1. Understand your feelings
2. Practice mindful breathing
3. Picture happy things in your mind (replacing the scary ones)
4. Pretend to be what scares you (a dog, big gusts of wind)
5. Think positive or encouraging thoughts to gain control of the fear
6. Take small steps (get used to something that scares you a little bit at a time)
7. Talk to your parents because "they know a lot about understanding feelings and how imaginations work."

A common fear expressed by the class was being afraid of the dark, and their solutions were to use a nightlight or a bathroom light to feel "peaceful and relaxed."

6-C Girls Feeling Brave on Halloween!

Teasing - When is it OK?

Zach and Duncan in a role-play!

Last week, Eighth Age character lessons were focused on teasing.  We started by defining teasing, and then defining bullying to make sure they knew the difference.  Teasing can be OK if it is a balanced interaction between friends and done with no ill intent.  Bullying, of course, is never OK.  The majority of unkind acts at schools are teasing, and happen as a result of not understanding that if the teasing isn't balanced then one person is feeling hurt.  What can begin as playful and fun, can deteriorate into an imbalance of power and hurt feelings.

We read the book, Just Kidding, by Trudy Ludwig.  This story is about a boy, D.J., who tries to stand up to Vince who uses mean words and actions to put down D.J.  As Trudy Ludwig says in her notes about teasing, "You're never "just kidding" when your words or actions toward others are embarrassing, hurtful or mean spirited."

We talked about the importance of letting your friend know when the teasing becomes hurtful.  And, the importance of classmates standing up for others when they hear and notice teasing that has become mean spirited. 

Here are the Teasing Dos and Don'ts I shared with the classes:

Do:

• Be careful of others' feelings
• Use humor carefully
• Accept teasing from others if you tease
• Know the difference between friendly, gentle teasing and hurtful ridicule
• Try to read others' body language to see if their feelings are hurt- even when they don't tell you
• Get help from an adult if the unfriendly teasing doesn't stop

Don't:

• Tease someone you don't know well.
• Tease about a person's body
• Tease about a person's family
• Tease about a topic when someone asked you not to
• Be passive about your feelings; tell someone in a direct and assertive way what is bothering you

Role Play: 8-2 Boys stepping in to talk out the issue of teasing

 

Children's Books Teach Character

Mackenzie and Sydney at Work!

I love the collection of children's books I have at Calvert!  I am able to use so many of them for character classes while others I use for individual or small group counseling.  Last week and this week, I read Odd Velvet and Jamaica and Brianna to 7-A and 7-B.   These books deliver important messages through stories.  Odd Velvet is about a girl, Velvet, who is thought of as "odd" by her classmates because she has unusual hobbies, wears hand-me-down clothes, and has a "pack of only eight crayons."  The story starts on the first day of school and ends on the last.  Within this year, the kids grew to value Velvet's "oddness" to the point where they began to want to be like her.  The story leads to a discussion of compassion, uniqueness, and overcoming differences that initially got in the way of understanding.

Jamaica and Brianna focuses on the theme of friendship: specifically, friendship with its ups and downs of hurt feelings and misunderstandings.  I use it as a springboard to talk about friendships, in general, and how each one takes work.  We considered the question, "What is a friend?" and brainstormed answers such as," A friend listens", "A friends apologizes", and "A friend talks over misunderstandings."   The work is certainly worth the effort, and Jamaica and Brianna delivers that message in a thoughtful and engrossing way. As psychologist Michael Thompson says about friendship, "Every child has a profound need for close connection.  This search for the intimate, reliable connection is the basis of friendship.  The need for affiliation is the basis of cooperation, collaboration, and generosity of spirit among children."

Katie and Elizabeth Considering Odd Velvet's Differences and Similarities

 

 

Morgan Thinking about Friendships

 

What Would You Do? 8-B



This is What I Would Do!

Yesterday, students in 8-B got to apply their knowledge of Kelso's Choices to "small" and "big" problems experienced at schools.  During the first part of the lesson, I gave each girl a blank wheel and then asked them to fill it in with the nine Kelso's Choices.  Most knew all nine, but it was a good chance to review each choice.  Once their wheels were completed, I read scenarios and girls volunteered to go up to the board to pick which of Kelso's Choices they would use to solve the problem.  For example:

1.  "What you you do if someone was tripping you while you were walking to recess." (Tell them to stop, Talk it out)
2. "Your friend was being really annoying.  Instead of talking it out, you talked behind her back and she found out.  What would you do (Apologize)
3. "If someone was teasing you so much that you did not want to go to school, what would you do?" (Tell an adult you trust)

They did a great job with this and offered detailed explanations about how they would implement their choices!



Margaret Working on her Wheel