Teasing - When is it OK?

Zach and Duncan in a role-play!

Last week, Eighth Age character lessons were focused on teasing.  We started by defining teasing, and then defining bullying to make sure they knew the difference.  Teasing can be OK if it is a balanced interaction between friends and done with no ill intent.  Bullying, of course, is never OK.  The majority of unkind acts at schools are teasing, and happen as a result of not understanding that if the teasing isn't balanced then one person is feeling hurt.  What can begin as playful and fun, can deteriorate into an imbalance of power and hurt feelings.

We read the book, Just Kidding, by Trudy Ludwig.  This story is about a boy, D.J., who tries to stand up to Vince who uses mean words and actions to put down D.J.  As Trudy Ludwig says in her notes about teasing, "You're never "just kidding" when your words or actions toward others are embarrassing, hurtful or mean spirited."

We talked about the importance of letting your friend know when the teasing becomes hurtful.  And, the importance of classmates standing up for others when they hear and notice teasing that has become mean spirited. 

Here are the Teasing Dos and Don'ts I shared with the classes:

Do:

• Be careful of others' feelings
• Use humor carefully
• Accept teasing from others if you tease
• Know the difference between friendly, gentle teasing and hurtful ridicule
• Try to read others' body language to see if their feelings are hurt- even when they don't tell you
• Get help from an adult if the unfriendly teasing doesn't stop

Don't:

• Tease someone you don't know well.
• Tease about a person's body
• Tease about a person's family
• Tease about a topic when someone asked you not to
• Be passive about your feelings; tell someone in a direct and assertive way what is bothering you

Role Play: 8-2 Boys stepping in to talk out the issue of teasing