Boundaries with Eighth Age Students

Learning about boundaries is important; in Eighth Age we started with personal space boundaries in the fall, and we have moved on to role boundaries, physical boundaries, and behavioral boundaries.  We even talked about time as a boundary.  Learning to crawl was part of the past and learning to drive is part of the future.  There are reasons why elementary age students don't drive!  We talked about hands as boundaries- they can help or they can hurt.  They are a way to keep someone at a distance if one feels unsafe or threatened.  If someone feels uncomfortable by words or conversations, he or she can say "Stop" and extend the distance between the person and the uncomfortable conversation.  Hands are meant for working, playing, and helping.  When we use hands to hurt others, it is a boundary violation.

Boundaries can be difficult to define because they are physical, emotional, psychological, and behavioral and many seem abstract; starting with an image of a fence is a great first step.  Understanding boundaries is a process that develops over years.  Parents can assist by maintaining family boundaries which include understanding parental roles as compared to children's roles within the family unit.  If role boundaries are solid, children will feel safe, protected, and comfortable.  If boundaries are unclear, kids tend to feel vulnerable, unsafe, and stressed.  In addition, rules serve as boundaries, and create security for kids.  As child psychologist, Ron Taffel, says "Consequences are a child's safety net." Without them, home life can be chaotic and confusing.  All in all, boundaries are crucial to healthy child development. 

8-B Girls work on their Boundaries Packet

 

 

 

WHAT KIDS SAY ABOUT RULES

"Someone should watch over me" Four-year-old boy

"I definitely don't want my parents to negotiate too much" Eight- year-old girl

"I don't like going to my friend's house.  There is no one in charge." Ten-year-old boy

"I feel better when my parents tell me what they want me to do" Seven- year-old girl

From Dr. Ron Taffel's, Nurturing Good Children Now 

 

 

 

Understanding Others with The Name Jar

I have started reading the book, The Name Jar, with Sixth Age students. The main character, Unhei, is a young girl who has just moved to the United States from Korea.  She is worried that her classmates at her new school won't be able to pronounce her name so she decides to pick a new, American name.  Also, she is teased a bit by her classmates because her name seems "different" to them.  The story promotes conversations about acceptance, differences, identity, teasing, and finally, understanding and celebrating oneself and others.  Students got to pull their own names from a jar and tell the class if their name had a specific meaning or significance in their family.  Many students knew a lot about their names, and others said they wanted to go home and ask their parent more about them!

Cate is for Catherine

 

Arnavi knows a lot about her Name

 

Jackson

Charlotte had a lot to say about her Name

 

Teddy explaining the Theodores in his Family

 

Liam is for William

 

 

The Name Jar by Yangsook Choi

Listen to a Synopsis of the Book

Making Mistakes

Caroline

"The worst mistake anyone can make is being too afraid to make one."

Making mistakes is part of growing up.  However, for some students they feel that if they make a mistake with school work, it means they aren't smart, are a disappointment to the family, or are a "failure".  I read the book, The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes with 8-B.  The girls figured out pretty quickly that Beatrice, who was known for never making ANY mistakes in her life, would make one by the end of the story!  Ella had an insightful comment that sometimes when you make a mistake you can actually feel happy because your world doesn't fall apart and you might learn something new from your mistake.  Making a mistake can come as a relief from self-imposed pressure to be perfect!

Laura

Beatrice wouldn't skate with her friends because she didn't want to fall

We talked about mistakes being part of the growth process and that adult authors still edit and improve their writing process throughout their lives.  Since we are always learning, there is always a way to do it better next time. 



Claire



AnnaJane

Laura

This Girl isn't Afraid of Making Mistakes:
Who is it?!

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes"    (Oscar Wilde)

A Day of Character Classes at Calvert!

Teo is Kelso

The Girls are Kelso!

5-1 listens to a story

10-A Plays a Game!

It's Austen's Turn!

 

Palmer's Turn

 

 As a teacher of character education, my day can include a variety of types of lessons in order to deliver a theme or important information.  On a given day I read a story, set up a game, ask the students to act out scenarios, show video clips of such organizations as Start Empathy and Caine's Arcade, and even give Character Class "quizzes!"  I love opportunity to be creative and to listen to the insights the students offer!

Honesty and the Chinese Folktale- The Empty Pot

 

Ben and Patrick talk about Honesty

Ben, Leon, and Brooks

Eighth Age boys had a lesson about honesty with the lovely Chinese legend called, The Empty Pot.   It is the story of an Emperor in China who needs to find a successor to his throne.  In keeping with his love of beautiful flowers, he decides to give each child in his kingdom a seed, and a year later they were to return to show him their plant.  Ping, a young boy, who also loved flowers was unable to get his seed to grow.  Ping brings his empty pot to the Emperor and is the only child with an empty pot!  It turns out that the seeds were boiled and none should have grown.  So, Ping is picked as the successor---"I admire Ping's great courage to appear before me with the empty truth, and now I reward him with my entire kingdom and make him Emperor of all the land!"

 

Sixth Agers to Play the Role of Kelso!

 

 

Sixth Age students have started to design Kelso the frog masks so that they can play the part.  6-C started their masks today, and the other sections will begin next week.  Once their masks are completed, they will act out some scenarios where they will identify the feelings kids are having in specific scenarios and then, as Kelso, will pick a conflict management strategy to solve the problem. 

For example:  You let a neighborhood friend borrow your new sidewalk chalk, and they brought it back to you in broken pieces.
Feelings: Annoyed, Frustrated
Kelso's Choices: Wait and Cool Off; Talk it Out

Who is it?

 

Jordan - Before...

 

And After!

Students Consider Gossip and Rumors!

Jasmine understands that once words are out of your mouth, you can't take them back

Eighth Age girls are considering how spreading gossip and rumors affect friendships and one's character.  The lesson started with an "experiment."  I squeezed a small tube of toothpaste onto a plate and asked Jasmine, my volunteer, to get all of the toothpaste back in the tube in one minute.  Of course, it is impossible to get the toothpaste back in the tube!  We compared this to words and rumors--- spreading rumors is like squeezing out a tube of toothpaste.   It is easy to squeeze out, or spread gossip, but more more difficult and even impossible to take the words back, or put the toothpaste back in its tube.

Then, we read the story, Trouble Talk, by Trudy Ludwig and were able to understand how spreading rumors and gossiping can contribute to a loss of friends and a loss of trust.  Bailey is new to school, and as a way to fit in and get attention, she spread rumors about her new classmates.  This backfires when Maya, Keisha, and Hua don't want to be her friend anymore.

We ended the lesson by considering what it would take for Bailey to regain trust and to regain these friendships.  The girls agreed it was possible but would take time- perhaps even months.