Resilience Builder: Assertiveness with Ninth Age

 

Bo

Ninth Age boys had character lessons about assertiveness and the use of I-messages.  Communication and relationships are strengthened by using these skills.  Being assertive involves stating what you want by using an I-Message, using a firm voice, and looking the person in the eye.  For example: "I feel upset when you interrupt me when I am answering a question in class." Our lesson also examined the words passive and aggressive.  Oftentimes, one student tends to be passive in a relationship because he doesn't want a friend to be mad at him.  He may avoid conflict by agreeing or going along with the other's plans or ideas.  If this happens on a regular basis, the passive student doesn't share feelings or needs and can get "lost" in the complex world of friendships.  An aggressive student can harm others- emotionally or physically- by being bossy, setting the rules, and being in control at all times.  This style is not a successful one for making and keeping friends!  Ideally, you learn to be assertive by standing up for yourself and your needs, being respectful through the use of I-messages, and being courageous because it is not easy to master these skills!  The boys were very creative as they wrote I-messages based on behaviors such as spreading rumors and cutting in front of someone at lunch. Many volunteered to read their I-messages to their classmates.

Henry

Teddy

Finn

What if Everybody Did That?!

 

6-A

I focused on our Pillar of Responsibility with the Sixth Age as we read What if Everybody Did That? by Ellen Javernick.  The book addresses the ways in which our choices impact others, the community, and the world in a lively and engaging way.  In each situation presented, the boy in the story is asked, "What if Everybody Did That?"  For instance, what if everybody threw trash out the window, what if everybody fed the animals at the zoo, and what if everybody bathed just once a year?!  The illustrations are amusing and lots of discussion was generated in each Sixth Age section.

Once we finished with the story, I asked them some follow-up questions:

• What if everybody talked while the teacher was talking?
• What if everybody didn't return their library books?
• What if everybody rushed to the front of the line?

The students had some amusing responses but many serious ones as well!  I think the message of social responsibility came across using this delightful book.

There was Lots of Enthusiasm in 6-A!

7-1 and 7-2

 

Alex and Nathan counting the Hearts

7th Age Boys are Proud!

 

Thomas and Keegan

 

Jeff, Bohlen, Thomas, Michael, Caden, Keegan

Kindness IS Cooler!

76 Hearts and Counting!

Seventh Age boys have had a great time posting their kindness hearts these last two weeks during the "Kindness is Cooler" challenge!  They are up to 76 and shooting for 100 by Valentine's Day!  Many boys have said they are doing the dishes, cleaning their rooms, and cooking at home.  Here, they are helping classmates with work, picking up Legos, and saying, "Good Work" to each other.  Let's hope their wonderful enthusiasm for this challenge continues beyond the Valentine's Day deadline!!
 

It's Your Choice with Tenth Age Boys

 
Tenth Age boys had a review of KC's Choice conflict management program by playing a card game called, "It's Your Choice!"   We reviewed the conflict wheel that offers eight choices for solving minor problems at home and at school.  Then, each boy received a card: each card asks to either differentiate between a serious or minor problem, solve a problem by using a KC's Choice, or explain a time when they have actively used a choice.  For example, "Tell about a time when you saw someone use "Walk Away" to successfully solve a problem."  Each boy had a chance to read his situation out loud and then call on a peer to answer it.  This activity gave them the opportunity to hear how others had solved conflicts, and also how in certain circumstances an adult must be told.  (You have tried to "Ignore it" and "Walk Away," but your classmate still insists on making fun of your glasses.")

 

KC's Choices

Kindness is Cooler, Mrs. Ruler: Seventh Age Challenge!

After reading, Kindness is Cooler, Mrs. Ruler with 7-1 and 7-2, I challenged them to complete 100 acts of kindness as a class before Valentine's Day!  The book focuses on the teacher, Mrs. Ruler, and her plan to have her class do 100 good deeds at school, at home, and in the community.  Mrs. King and Mrs. Crawford have blank paper hearts in their classrooms, and when the boys have done an act of kindness they draw or write it on a heart.  We are creating a large display of kindness hearts outside their classrooms, and they are being encouraged by faculty and staff and some of the older students!  So, if your son is offering to do extra chores at home, please acknowledge his efforts!  As Mrs. Ruler says, "A slice of nice makes a mile of smile!" And, "If you act from your heart and do your part, we'll end up with one hundred acts of kindness all together!"  Happy Valentine's Day.

26 Hearts and Counting!

Matthew Knows that Kindness is Cool!

My Secret Bully: Helping Sarah become an Ally instead of a Bystander



"I noticed Katie whispering to a group of girls and looking at me."

Last week, Eighth Age students got to consider the three main characters- Monica, Sarah, and Katie- in My Secret Bully by Trudy Ludwig, and decide how they could help the "bystander" Sarah become an ally or an "upstander."  It is difficult for most children when they are around a bullying situation to stand up to the bully and become an ally to the target.  This book is an excellent resource for stimulating discussion with elementary school children and empowering them to feel more confident if they get in a similar situation. 

Monica is emotionally bullied by Katie and has to learn how to assert herself and stay strong.  She does this by opening up and talking to her mother, role-playing assertive responses, and not responding to the bullying by becoming a bully herself.  She gets no help from Sarah as Sarah is friends with both girls and doesn't know how to speak up for Monica.  So, in classes we talked about what Sarah could have done to support Monica and deflate Katie's power.

Here are some terrific 8th Age suggestions:

I would tell Katie to " please back off."
I would remind Katie about the Golden Rule
"I don't like it when you play with me but not with Monica."
I would ask Monica to play with us
"Katie, please go to Monica and say sorry."
I would ask Monica what's wrong
"Do you need help with Katie?"
"Monica, can you come over to my house today?"
"It looks like something is bothering you.  I will help you."
"Don't be embarrassed.  I was bullied once."
"Monica, I think it's time to tell a teacher."
"Come on- let's go walk away."
"How about we take turns talking about our feelings."